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Stepping Down
Leaving the ICU was supposed to be progress.
He should’ve felt relief. Instead, there was nothing but exhaustion.
The hallway seemed longer without Lucy. Being strapped to the gurney didn’t help.
He caught his reflection in the ceiling as the elevator doors closed. It looked drawn, sunken, unfamiliar. He shut his eyes.
At first, the descent was no more than a shift.
Then came the drop.
Subtle, but wrong. Familiar in the worst way.
His breathing hitched.
The nurse leaned in. He saw her mouth move, but nothing reached him. His body tensed, fingers clawing weakly against the straps.
“I—can’t—”
Sweat broke across his temple. His vision tunneled.
“Make it stop… please…”
The elevator jolted to a stop. It didn’t help.
A needle. A flush in his arm.
He flinched. A dull numbness crept in. The room tilted, focus slipping away.
Transfer in motion. Blankets. Hands. A voice, blurred and far-off.
The fall went on.
Walls pressed in, sounds fading until only silence remained. He stopped fighting.
The paperwork took more time than Lucy expected. Near the step-down unit, a nurse pulled her aside with an update: Matt had a full-blown panic and required sedation.
She thanked them and went in.
That wasn’t right. Matt was the one others relied on.
Now he lay drained under the lamplight, somehow smaller than he’d ever been.
The urge to cry surged, but she refused. Not now. Not in front of him.
“You don’t have to be strong, Matt,” she said, holding his hand. “You can be scared. You can fall apart. We’re in this together.”
Hours passed before a tight crease formed between his brows.
A rough sound followed. Lucy sat up. She knew the signs.
“Matt. You’re dreaming. You’re safe.”
His breath quickened, head sinking into the pillow. Lips parted, but no words came.
“Matt,” she said, closer. “It’s me. Lucy. You’re okay.”
He opened his eyes suddenly, startled and unfocused.
“Matt, look at me. It’s just me. I’m here.”
He couldn’t calm down. Lucy gripped his arm and didn’t let go.
“Hey. You’re not alone. I’m right here.”
No response. Only a ragged gasp. Slowly, his eyes found hers. A glance. Barely there. But it held.
“There you are,” she said. “I’ve got you.”
Matt swallowed. He looked away. One hand twitched, then went still.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“Don’t. You don’t have to apologize. Not for this.”
She watched the slight release in his face as sleep took him again.
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