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Connections
The Boyfriend
The drive out to the rehab center was over an hour. Ben hadn’t said a word since they merged onto the highway. Josh sat in the passenger seat of the new truck Ben had asked him to pick out.
They parked. Josh followed him down the corridor. Three people sat at a table near the windows. He didn’t get a good look before Ben stopped.
“Everyone, this is Josh. Josh—Lucy, Matt, Danny.”
“Ben’s told us nothing about you. Typical,” Lucy said.
“I told you enough,” Ben said.
So this was Matt. Josh looked at him without meaning to. The wheelchair, the stillness. Thinner than he’d expected. This was the guy Ben had dropped everything for. The guy Josh had lost to.
Matt looked back at him. Said nothing.
“So you’re the jealous boyfriend, huh?” Danny said.
Josh’s head snapped toward him. “I’m not jealous!”
It came out too loud. A woman two tables over turned around.
Lucy pressed her lips together. Danny raised both eyebrows. Ben had gone still.
“Relax, Josh,” Matt finally spoke. “Ben and I have an open relationship.”
The bar was loud and warm. Lucy had one hand on Matt’s under the table. Ben sat too straight and kept glancing at Matt. Matt looked completely at ease.
“So,” Lucy said. “You’re Matt’s boyfriend, huh?”
Ben’s whole body locked. “Uh, no. That’s—not—no.”
Matt took a long sip of beer first. His face was completely sincere. “Come on, man. I thought we had an understanding.”
Ben went red. Matt didn’t move. Lucy laughed.
“Oh, I like him already,” she said. “You should’ve warned me your boyfriend’s so easy to fluster.”
“You’re both insane,” Ben said.
“Insanity is subjective,” Matt said.
Ben sighed, half a smile showing. Lucy had gotten what she came for.
“Does this come standard?” he said. “Or is it just for me.”
“Special occasion. You should feel honored.”
“Yeah. Honored. That’s exactly how I feel.”
“Wait—what? That’s not—what does that even mean?”
Danny was grinning. Lucy had one hand over her mouth. Ben covered his face.
Josh gritted his teeth.
It wasn’t Matt he was jealous of. It was what Matt had with Ben. Years Josh couldn’t compete with. No matter how much Ben cared, there would always be a part of him that belonged here.
Lucy shook her head. “Matt, I swear you get worse every year.”
“I knew I shouldn’t have told you anything,” Ben muttered, glancing at Lucy. Then at Josh. Quick.
“No, seriously,” Danny said. “Someone explain.”
“Inside joke. Don’t worry about it,” Matt said.
“You can’t just say inside joke and expect people to drop it.”
“Watch me.”
The conversation kept moving without him. They were all in on it. The rhythm, the shorthand, the laughter that came from somewhere Josh hadn’t been.
“It doesn’t get less weird. Just so you know.” Ben scratched his head. He almost sounded sorry.
Josh let out a long breath.
“This whole thing is insane,” he said.
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