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The Wake-Up Call
Ben had been visiting again since Lucy made her point. It wasn’t easy, and for the past two weeks Matt had mostly ignored him. Until today.
“You sure about this?” he asked carefully.
No response at first. “No. But Lucy... she said it helped when she was there. So...”
“So you’re letting me try?”
“I don’t see a better option,” he muttered.
“You don’t have to do this alone, you know.”
“Funny,” Matt said, glancing over with a bitter laugh. “That’s all I’ve been doing since this happened.”
“Fair.”
“We’ll see if you stick around this time.”
“I will.”
“We’ll see.”
As a nurse wheeled Matt toward imaging, Ben walked beside him in silence. He sat stiff in the chair, right leg stretched on the extended footrest, face strained.
“You doing alright?”
“I’m here,” he said flatly. “That’s about it.”
Ben didn’t know what to do with that.
Near the elevator, Matt’s fingers curled against the armrest.
“You with me?”
No answer. He wasn’t sure if Matt even heard him.
A chime rang. They went in and the doors shut. Descent began.
Matt’s breathing clipped short. One hand clenched hard, the other held awkwardly in the sling.
This was worse than he’d expected.
“Matt. Hey. It’s just the elevator, alright? You’re safe.”
His head tipped back, eyes darting. Each breath was sharper than the last. Sweat gathered at his brow.
“Look at me, Matt. You’re not falling.”
The gaze snapped toward him, but didn’t hold. His bad hand trembled, grasping at nothing.
“I’m here. I’m right here.”
A faint jerk. One tear slid down. No sound.
The nurse stepped forward. “I need to administer this.”
“Yeah. Go ahead,” he said.
They injected the sedative. The tension ebbed, limbs loosening as his breathing slowed. His head went slack, tear tracks still visible in the light.
The doors opened. They rolled him out. Ben followed.
By the time they were done, Matt was groggy and spent. Ben wheeled him back toward his room. Halfway there, he stopped.
“Matt—”
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t say it’s okay,” Matt murmured hoarsely. “Don’t lie to me.”
Lucy’s warnings echoed. Matt would see through hollow words.
He knelt in front of him.
“I’m not lying. It’s not okay right now. I get that. But it’s not always going to be like this.”
“No shit.”
“I don’t know how to fix this, Matt. I hate that I don’t,” Ben said. “But I’m not bailing. Even if you’d rather I did, and all I can do is sit there and watch you freak out in an elevator.”
“Lucky me,” he said, eyes closing briefly.
“You are. Now let’s get you back before Lucy comes looking for us.”
Ben leaned against the wall outside Matt’s room.
He told himself that showing up mattered. Watching Matt unravel proved him wrong. Just being there wasn’t enough, and he hadn’t even managed that.
There was more he’d been avoiding, too.
The rescue. He ran it back again and again. Every step had followed protocol. Yet the doubt lingered. Maybe he made a wrong call. He’d never know. And that uncertainty resurfaced every time he saw Matt’s legs.
But it went deeper than the rescue.
It was the feelings. The ones he buried, only for them to claw back up when Matt was at his most vulnerable. The part of him that saw Matt as more than a best friend.
All this while Lucy trusted him with Matt. Patient with him, even now. He was betraying her trust just by thinking it.
And Josh. The forced smile the last time he bailed on him. Josh had been right there and still came second. He deserved better. Someone who could be honest, who could stay. Ben wasn’t that person.
Then the job. Rescue 3. The captain title. He was put there to steady the team, to honor what Matt built. It still felt beyond him, and he wasn’t sure that would ever change.
He glanced at his phone.
Not yet. Not until he could say it right. This wasn’t Josh’s fault.
Matt came first.
“You don’t get to fix this. You just get to be there.”
He went in and sat beside him.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, knowing Matt wouldn’t hear it.
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