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Unleash
Eight hours in a button-up shirt should be illegal. So was legacy code.
Danny opened his laptop and loaded the game. Three weeks into his summer internship and he already needed to decompress.
He scrolled through the lobby list and stopped.
Wheelord69.
Danny grinned. Still the greatest thing he’d ever done. Matt had gone with whatever the game gave him. He intervened as a public service, and Matt never cared enough to change it.
He called Matt.
“What.”
“You’re online.”
“And?”
“It’s Monday.”
“Are you joining or not?”
Danny was already clicking in. “Joining.”
The lobby filled with random players. Matt was on Teutons. Danny toggled to Mongols and waited.
The countdown started.
Something was wrong within two minutes.
Matt’s scout went straight at the nearest enemy. Behind it, three militia were already crossing the map. They hit the nearest player’s woodline. Villagers scattered.
“Uh, you good?”
“Focus on your base.”
Danny checked Matt’s base. No walls. Nothing but military buildings. Not even houses queued.
He clicked back to the front line. Matt’s militia had already killed three villagers and were chasing a fourth around a gold mine.
“Oh my god. This is the Battle of Mysidia.”
No response. More military buildings going up.
“Okay, who pissed you off?”
Still no answer. Which meant he was right.
Violence it is. He opened the text chat.
DannyTheMan: fair warning wheelord69 is in a mood tonight
DannyTheMan: thoughts and prayers to yall
xXHunterXx: …what
DannyTheMan: hes coming
xXHunterXx: wtf does that mean
DannyTheMan: youll see
By the eight-minute mark, xXHunterXx hadn’t even hit Feudal and his economy was already in ruins. Matt’s scouts picked off whatever moved.
Then the knights came out. The poor guy had just gotten his villagers back on gold. Matt rode straight through them.
DannyTheMan: if you resign now you can still save your dignity
xXHunterXx: this is a casual game dude wtf
“You’re bullying casuals, Matt.”
“They should’ve been prepared.”
xXHunterXx resigned. Matt didn’t slow down. More knights. He found Aragon88 and went straight for the villagers. Picked off the gold miners, then the woodcutters, then chased the last few into a corner of the map.
“Kyle cooked you today, huh?”
Silence. Which meant yes.
Danny cracked his knuckles. This was going to be fun.
DannyTheMan: hey man sorry about this. hes working through some stuff
DannyTheMan: therapy speedrun. youre just the collateral damage
Matt’s exhale came through the phone.
“Stop typing.”
“Not a chance, bro.”
DannyTheMan: WHEELORD69 DOES NOT FORGIVE
DannyTheMan: WHEELORD69 DOES NOT FORGET
DannyTheMan: actually he usually forgets but NOT TODAY
Aragon88: this is the worst game ive ever played
DannyTheMan: too late hes coming
Matt’s knights ran out of villagers to chase. Aragon88 resigned.
Victory.
Danny stretched in the chair.
“Feel better?”
“Not really.”
“Wanna go again?”
“…Yeah. One more.”
“Good.” He opened a new lobby. “Because I already told them you’re coming.”
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